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Fish Stripes staff predicts the 2018 MLB Season

Glory to be found anywhere but Miami, apparently.

MLB: Miller Park Milwaukee Journal Sentinel-USA TODAY NETWORK

Baseball makes fools of us all, said some wise fan in the stands, somewhere, sometime (probably).

Every year, the so-called experts and novice fans alike gather together and come up with a cacophony of sage picks and hot takes; every year, most of us are wrong.

Call us gluttons for punishment if you must, but we just couldn’t sit idly by and let everyone else have all the fun. We wanted to put our opinions out there to be mocked alongside the rest of baseball’s punditry. We should probably note that not every writer filled out the entire survey, as if afraid to go too far off the deep end. You may find a nugget or two below that makes you wonder what kind of hallucinogens we’ve been passing around at staff meetings.

Without further adieu, the Fish Stripes staff presents their picks for the 2018 MLB season. Bookmark this post, because we will be coming back to it at season’s end to point out how right I was how wrong everyone was.

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Writer AL MVP NL MVP AL Cy Young NL Cy Young AL ROY NL ROY NL East Winner NL Central Winner NL West Winner NL WC #1 NL WC #2 AL East Winner AL Central Winner AL West Winner AL WC #1 AL WC #2 World Series Matchup World Series Champion Marlins Record Marlins Playoffs? Marlins Team MVP
Writer AL MVP NL MVP AL Cy Young NL Cy Young AL ROY NL ROY NL East Winner NL Central Winner NL West Winner NL WC #1 NL WC #2 AL East Winner AL Central Winner AL West Winner AL WC #1 AL WC #2 World Series Matchup World Series Champion Marlins Record Marlins Playoffs? Marlins Team MVP
Thomas Giancarlo Stanton Bryce Harper James Paxton Clayton Kershaw Shohei Ohtani Ronald Acuna Nationals Cubs Dodgers Brewers Rockies Yankees Indians Astros Red Sox Twins Yankees vs Dodgers Dodgers 72-90 :/ Justin Bour
Dylan Jose Altuve Nolan Arenado Chris Sale Max Scherzer Franklin Barreto Ronald Acuna Nationals Cubs Dodgers Rockies Cardinals Yankees Indians Astros Red Sox Angels Astros vs Nationals Nationals 60-102 No J.T Realmuto
Aram Mike Trout Paul Goldschmidt Chris Sale Clayton Kershaw Eloy Jimenez Lewis Brinson Nationals Cubs Dodgers Cardinals Diamondbacks Red Sox Indians Astros Yankees Angels Nationals vs. Indians Nationals 75-87 We’re not THAT crazy Justin Bour
Patrick Mike Trout Bryce Harper Luis Severino Max Scherzer Gleyber Torres Lewis Brinson Nationals Cubs Dodgers Diamondbacks Brewers Yankees Indians Astros Red Sox Twins Yankees vs. Nationals Yankees 70-92 No Justin Bour
Andrew Aaron Judge Kris Bryant Corey Kluber Noah Syndergaard Eloy Jimenez Scott Kingery Nationals Brewers Dodgers Rockies Diamondbacks Yankees Indians Astros Angels White Sox Astros vs. Rockies Rockies 65-97 (Giggles) Lewis Brinson
David Mookie Betts Kris Bryant Justin Verlander Max Scherzer Willie Calhoun Ronald Acuna Nationals Cubs Dodgers Diamondbacks Phillies Yankees Indians Astros Twins Red Sox Astros vs. Nationals Astros 63-99 Trusting the process. Lewis Brinson
Ely Mike Trout Kris Bryant Luis Severino Luis Castillo Willy Adames Ryan McMahon Nationals Cubs Rockies Dodgers Mets Yankees Indians Astros Blue Jays Red Sox Yankees vs. Dodgers Yankees 69-93 Tix to attend playoffs, yes José Ureña
Michael Mike Trout Joey Votto Chris Sale Noah Syndergaard Austin Hays Ronald Acuna Mets Cubs Rockies Dodgers Nationals Yankees Indians Astros Blue Jays Twins Cubs vs.Indians Indians 70-92 *hello darkness my old friend* Lewis Brinson
Mitch Mike Trout Willson Contreras Chris Sale Max Scherzer Dan Vogelbach Lewis Brinson Nationals Cardinals Dodgers Cubs Phillies Yankees Indians Astros Red Sox Mariners Dodgers vs. Indians Dodgers 73-89 Yeah, it's a no from me dog Justin Bour
Jesse Mike Trout Bryce Harper Corey Kluber Max Scherzer Franklin Barreto Lewis Brinson Nationals Cubs Dodgers Diamondbacks Phillies Yankees Indians Astros Angels Mariners Angels vs. Nationals Angels 55-107 Mariners Playoffs? Lewis Brinson

How do you see things playing out? Leave your own picks in the comments and laugh alongside us at our collective foolishness in seven months time. Happy Opening Day!