I hate to break it to you, but you don't exist.
Or at least according to Will Leitch of Deadspin fame in his recent preview about the Florida Marlins. You really should read the whole article, however, I will grab a little bit for you as a teaser.
I would apologize to Marlins fans if I knew where they were. I mean that in every sense of the word.
I've never met a Marlins fan.
One of the countless pleasures of being a baseball fan is knowing that, no matter where you are, no matter who you are, no matter what you believe, there is a rabid fanbase out there that thinks just like you do.
Marlins fans have always been a conundrum to Will. He knows they exist but he can't figure out why they don't attend the games en masse. Marlins fans to Will are like something hidden the woodwork-- you know they are there, but you just haven't seen them. Of course, in order to see some of them you must attend a game in Whatever-the-Heck-it-is-Called-This-Year Stadium. That is where I found some of them. And it was a good thing. The hard part for most people to wrap their minds around is that a lot of the virtual fan base isn't in Florida. Don't ask me why, but it is true. And they can't make it to the games.
At the end of the post he says he cheers for the Marlins. I believe this to be true.
Why am I being so easy on Will Leitch, when if any beat reporters of the Marlins said the same thing I would be writing a novel about how wrong they were? It is simple. About five years ago Gawker launched Deadspin about the same time the SB Nation launched FishStripes. When Deadspin started it didn't allow comments but then thought the better of it and comments were only allowed by people who were invited to comment. That would soon change. Will sent me an email and invited me to comment one Saturday afternoon. The comment thing didn't exactly work, so we had to exchange emails until it did. But after that was cleared up, we chatted for awhile about blogging and stuff. I guess I should have paid more attention since Deadspin went on to fame, glory and riches, while FishStripes went on to... uh, well... hey, at least the SB Nation hasn't contracted us yet. So we have that going for us.
The bottom line is this: Will is a good guy and his post is just in keeping with the theme of Deadspin. Nothing more. But someday he really ought to attend a Marlins home game, preferably on a Friday or Saturday. That is when the locals can make the trek to the stadium. Also, he may even get the joy of experiencing a rain delay. We all love those.