Author’s note: This title was composed during the fifth inning of tonight’s ballgame when the Marlins were, in fact, winning the baseball game. Call it clairvoyance or merely experience. I also fell asleep in the 14th inning, so that tells you how this game went
Yep, heard it here first, folks. Losing does in fact suck. I am truly appreciative of the Philadelphia Phillies and Atlanta Braves for supporting player’s families and extended families. You can feel the love all around baseball for those impacted by the hurricane. I am truly thankful for their amazing show of human goodness. However, its tough to accept the royal smackdown we have received over the course of these last days of summer/early days of pumpkin spice season. The Marlins are currently 2-9 in September.
While the game didn’t end well for the Fish, I’m just glad to have Justin Bour back. He b-a-r-e-l-y out ran the tag at home twice tonight, and BAH GAWD he looked like Paul Bunyan running down the third base line. Instead of leaving behind the Land of 10,000 Lakes, Bour leaves an absolute carpet of pine tar in his wake.
Giancarlo Stanton had a very pedestrian hitting night. However, he did remind us why he is an absolute threat out there in right field. He had three outfield assists, but none was more important than the last second shot to save the game from ending in the ninth.
#Marlins Giancarlo Stanton has three outfield assists tonight. The last player with four in a game was Wally Berger on April 27, 1931.— Ryan M. Spaeder (@theaceofspaeder) September 13, 2017
Giancarlo Stanton's OF assist to the plate that stopped the Phillies from walking off on the Marlins: 96.5 mph, per @Statcast. 212 feet. pic.twitter.com/P59Jb250vq— David Adler (@_dadler) September 13, 2017
Dillon Peters went a solid six innings with two earned runs and four strikeouts. He also had a fantastic catch and awakens my chilled September heart every time he’s on the mound. When he turned the ball over to Dustin McGowan and the bullpen in the 7th, the game was at 7-2. While the game never felt safe for the Fish, I did have confidence that we could just drift off of @Dillypickz performance.
.@Dillypickz with the pick! https://t.co/SCY4cSZnwN pic.twitter.com/TntynNA9Kf— Cut4 (@Cut4) September 13, 2017
While the Marlins bullpen has obviously been the biggest area of struggle for the Fish, they continue to make just absurdly wild decisions. EXHIBIT A: Pitching a low-speed, over the plate fastball to Rhys Hoskins. In case you don’t know, Rhys is 24 years old and eats baseballs like apples. Rhys Hoskins is damn good at baseball, and has essentially rewritten the history books for fastest player to hit (add any number here, honestly) home runs. Every time a new, hot take tweet is published about his successes, he does something new and more impressive. He hit two homers tonight (his 15th and 16th of the season), one in the 7th off of Dustin McGowan and another in the 10th off of Brian Ellington. He also managed to steal all of our girlfriends and got us to do his home work for him. No, I will not...nay, I refuse to write anything else about his PHome Runs.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED pic.twitter.com/AtuzffH4UK— Paul Boyé (@paul_boye) September 13, 2017
Okay, okay I can be a sucker for a good chart.
Updated Hoskins History chart. He continues to break records every single day -- now quickest to 16 homers, as well as every number 9-15. pic.twitter.com/IoyVXyvKD1— Ben Harris (@byBenHarris) September 13, 2017
While we’re waiting for the game to conclude, let’s check in on our adversaries over at The Good Phight:
Current recap title: "Kill me."— Liz Roscher (@lizroscher) September 13, 2017
After Ozuna’s home run in the 10th, here’s how the Fish did at the plate for the rest of the game: (Hint: it doesn’t look good)
Ichiro Suzuki - walk
J.T. Realmuto - fly out to center
Derek Dietrich - fouled out to catcher
Miguel Rojas - fly out
Tomas Telis - strike out
Dee Gordon - single
Stanton - intentionally walk
Christian Yelich - fly out to center
Ozuna - grounded into fielder’s choice
Brian Anderson - ground out
Realmuto - ground out
Derek Dietrich - lined out
Miguel Rojas - ground out
Telis - ground out
Dee Gordon - single
Giancarlo - SCENE: 13th inning, we’re still all tied up at eight. Giancarlo Stanton was up to bat. I deeply prayed for sweet relief and homer #55. All I got was a bat flip of the saddest variety. Let’s just say the Twitter crowd was displeased. Personally, I think Giancarlo even makes strikeouts interesting. Overall though, this wasn’t the worst experience a Cruz has had getting called out on Twitter in the last 48 hours, am I right?
Stanton almost stepped in the dugout with his back foot on this nasty Luis Garcia slide piece. Topped with a different kind of bat toss. pic.twitter.com/whIzvT19Rt— Ben Harris (@byBenHarris) September 13, 2017
Yelich - ground out
Marcell Ozuna - strike out
Brian Anderson - out on a dropped third strike
Realmuto - strike out
Mike Aviles - fly out
Miguel Rojas - fly out
In case you’re a masochist and would like to see all of this represented graphically, here you go!
The Marlins continue their series in Philadelphia Wednesday night at 7:05 at Citizens Bank Park. Dan Straily will take on Aaron Nola. With Straily on the mound, the Marlins have won three of his last four starts. He is 2-0 with a 4.91 ERA in that stretch. Meanwhile, the Fish have dominated Nola this season, leaving him with an 0-3 record and a 10.85 ERA. Hopefully, the Marlins can use this as a bounce back game to finish out the rest of the season strong.