Part Un

With two outs in Monday’s game against the Tampa Bay Rays, Marcell Ozuna blasted a homerun to bring the game to a 2-2 tie. Little did we know, the action just continued from there. The ball crash-landed into the pool at the Clevelander, and it seemed fans were anxious to get a chance to retrieve it.

*cue David Attenborough voice * The local fan performs his ritualistic approach to water, removing his shirt and phone. He lunges into the water, jeans and all, suddenly aware that it is in fact still the 4th inning. To the dismay of his fellow primates, he returns empty handed. His quest for memorabilia will continue another day.

Part Deux

Let’s just break this down play-by-play:

0:00-0:15 We return to just outside the Clevelander with Fox Sports Florida’s own Craig Minervini and the successful ball retrieval crew: The Three Musketeers/Wet Bandits composed of our hero Duke, a guy that really likes Pythagoras, and a Giants fan. They have sweet dance moves.

0:15-0:23 Craig definitely brings the capital J to Journalism here. Asking an introspective question while simultaneously clawing Duke’s fingers away from the mic. Update: the man that is here to remind us that a^2 + b^2 does in fact still equal c^2 is actually MY BOY JIMMY.

0:23-0:30 Jimmy, AKA the fastest hands east of the San Andreas Faultline, is both fearless and without remorse. With a fan cheering him on from behind, Jimmy shows us how anything is possible with an animal instinct. Deep down, isn’t he the true Marlins fan inside of all of us? A Fish out of water?

0:30-0:49 We are introduced to the downtrodden and drenched Giants fan giving us some commentary on Jimmy’s fish-like abilities. With baited breath, we watch once again as Jimmy resurfaces with the ball. With his knowledge of basic geometry and grit, Jimmy is an early lock for the 2020 Tokyo Summer Olympics.

Marlins lose 4-2 and will continue the four game Citrus Series on Tuesday at 7:10