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To say I love perusing Dan Haren’s twitter would be an understatement. He is a titan of self-deprecating humor, and even his twitter handle, @ithrow88, will bring a smile to your face. Haren only spent a short time with the Miami Marlins after being acquired via trade from the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2015, but his tenure with the team wasn’t without drama.
Upon being traded from the Dodgers, Haren considered retirement because Miami’s beaches and warmth reminded him nothing of southern California he did not want to move far away from his family. Marlins’ fans opinions of Haren may still be mixed due to the drama his potential retirement created, but I would urge anyone who still feels random, deep, unexplained negative feelings toward Haren to read his twitter.
With the MLB trade deadline approaching earlier this week, Haren revisited his own trade experience from 2015 in hilarious fashion:
The trade deadline just doesn't seem the same without me being every team's fallback option. Oh wait.... pic.twitter.com/sw3bUoYoGo
— dan haren (@ithrow88) July 31, 2016
For those of you that don’t remember, the Marlins traded Haren to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for prospects Elliot Soto and Ivan Pineyro after he posted a 3.42 ERA with a 4.62 FIP prior to the deadline. This was the fifth time that Haren had been traded during his career. He retired from baseball at the end of 2015, but has been active on twitter since.
Check below for another hilarious rant from Haren back in January:
I'm on an exercise bike, bored, so here are some things about my baseball career that come to mind......
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
I went into almost every start the last few years thinking... How the hell am I gonna get these guys out
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
There's was atleast 3-4 times I thought the team plane was gonna crash.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
I would count out the days about a month in advance to see if I was gonna pitch in Coors field.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
One of my favorite moment ever was hitting a homer off Chris carpenter. I took my time running the bases.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
I gave up 11 runs in Toronto and got the win one time.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
I had to take Imodium most days I pitched to plug myself up.
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
My only superstition was to make sure I had 2 glasses of wine the night before I pitched. This ties in with the Imodium,
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
Why the hell did Bj Upton hit so many homers off me..... This probably ties into the last tweet as well. I did much better facing Melvin
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
My threat to retire didn't quite work last offseason
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
Sometimes when the count was 3-1, I would just throw it down the middle and hope for the best. People pop up in batting practice right
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016
How mad were you when you had to go cover 1st? @ithrow88
— Anthony Rizzo (@ARizzo44) January 4, 2016
When your 1st baseman is pushing 300lb's, you gotta bust your ass over. https://t.co/yFvxO2J2lJ
— dan haren (@ithrow88) January 4, 2016