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I stayed up forever last night/this morning making that Heroes and Zeroes post (I don't know how Kevin does that every day) and I'm sleepy now, so I'll make this brief.
Imagine a Marlins fan from today magically appeared in the living room of a Marlins fan from April 23rd.
Marlins fan from April 23rd flips the channel from the Marlins game in disgust, hoping to catch some Heat highlights so he can end his night on a positive note, when suddenly...
May 1st Marlins Fan: Hello.
April 23rd Marlins Fan: What the hell
May Marlins Fan: I've come from the future to bring you some stellar news about the Fish.
April Marlins Fan: Uh, Ok...mysterious stranger...how far into the future are you from?
May Marlins Fan: May 1st.
April Marlins Fan: So you came from like, a week away, to talk to me about the Marlins.
May Marlins Fan: Yes. I wanted to let you know that we're winning now, so don't lose hope.
April Marlins Fan: Hah, ok, yeah. Winning huh. Like what, a game? They won a game right?
May Marlins Fan: No, they won all the games.
April Marlins Fan: Yeah, I don't believe that. The winless Braves swept them at home. The bullpen is a trainwreck, Mattingly doesn't know how to manage it.
May Marlins Fan: He's doing a lot better, sticking to a heavy dose of Phelps and Barraclough in the back-end, giving the quick hook when guys like Morris and Ege get into trouble.
April Marlins Fan: You want me to believe the Marlins have gone on a seven game winning streak? With Clayton Kershaw and Kenta Maeda on the schedule?
May Marlins Fan: Believe it buddy. It's not been all roses, though. Dee Gordon has been suspended 80 games for using banned substances.
April Marlins Fan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...get out.
May Marlins Fan: I'm not making this stuff up.
April Marlins Fan: No seriously how did you even get in here get out
Pitching Matchup
| Team | Starter | ERA | FIP | ZiPS Proj. ERA |
| MIL | Wily Peralta | 7.40 | 5.44 | 4.75 |
| MIA | Tom Koehler | 4.50 | 4.15 | 4.22 |
Ichiro will slot in for Christian Yelich in left and bag leadoff, with Dietrich sliding down to the three hole. For the Brew Crew, MartiN Maldonado will spell Jonathan Lucroy at catcher and bat eighth.
Bold Prediction: Marlins never lose again, defeat Brewers by a score of 8-3.