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I'm back! It's been nearly two months since I last shared my inane babble in a Game Thread. I really just write random words, and they somehow cohere into sentences.
I don't even know anything about baseball. I heard the Marlins traded a dude for three dudes last night, and three is two more than one. Sounds like a victory to me.
If you're already tired of my dumb schtick, and want Michael back, I'm afraid that you're out of luck. He told me he would be in Vegas for the next week, and that if anything important happens, I should deal with it myself.
In other news, a friend of my cousin's sister's boyfriend tells me that there is a baseball game today. The Marlins will face Lance Lynn, whose season bears a striking resemblance to the career figures of pitcher Lance Lynn. The similarities are uncanny.
The Marlins saw Lynn just three weeks ago in Miami, where they scored seven runs off him. So naturally we can expect a no-hitter today. I wish it weren't the case, but this is the universe's way of correcting itself.
It would be remiss of me not to give you, the people, the haiku that you deserve:
trees whisper of rain
jose fernandez pitch today
expect sorrow
Bold Prediction: Cardinals def. Marlins 2-0