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Miami Marlins vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Game 87 Thread and Ichthyomancy

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The Miami Marlins seek to avoid an embarrassing sweep, summoning All-Star™ pitcher Jose Fernandez to face the National League's best offense.

USA TODAY Sports

Current Series

Cardinals lead the series 2-0

Fri 07/05 WP: Jake Westbrook (5 - 3)
SV: Edward Mujica
LP: Jacob Turner (2 - 1)
1 - 4 loss
Sat 07/06 WP: Edward Mujica (1 - 1)
LP: A.J. Ramos (3 - 3)
4 - 5 loss

Miami Marlins
@ St. Louis Cardinals

Sunday, Jul 7, 2013, 2:15 PM EDT
Busch Stadium

Jose Fernandez vs Lance Lynn

Partly cloudy,rain. Winds blowing out to center field at 5-10 m.p.h. Game time temperature around 85.

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I'm back! It's been nearly two months since I last shared my inane babble in a Game Thread. I really just write random words, and they somehow cohere into sentences.

I don't even know anything about baseball. I heard the Marlins traded a dude for three dudes last night, and three is two more than one. Sounds like a victory to me.

If you're already tired of my dumb schtick, and want Michael back, I'm afraid that you're out of luck. He told me he would be in Vegas for the next week, and that if anything important happens, I should deal with it myself.

In other news, a friend of my cousin's sister's boyfriend tells me that there is a baseball game today. The Marlins will face Lance Lynn, whose season bears a striking resemblance to the career figures of pitcher Lance Lynn. The similarities are uncanny.

The Marlins saw Lynn just three weeks ago in Miami, where they scored seven runs off him. So naturally we can expect a no-hitter today. I wish it weren't the case, but this is the universe's way of correcting itself.

It would be remiss of me not to give you, the people, the haiku that you deserve:

trees whisper of rain
jose fernandez pitch today
expect sorrow

Bold Prediction: Cardinals def. Marlins 2-0