The Marlins fell to the Rays on Wednesday night by a final of 3-1, despite a solid pitching performance from starter Tom Koehler. The loss extends the Fish's current losing streak to eight games. Neato!
What's In A Name
Stop me if you've heard this before, but the Fish managed just one run and three hits for the game, stymied by Tampa Bay's Roberto Hernandez. Hernandez threw 8.2 innings of one-run ball before being relieved by the famous fake archer and sideways-cap-wearing Fernando Rodney. What's notable but also not really notable is that Hernandez used to go by Fausto Carmona, which is a much more interesting-sounding name than Roberto Hernandez. Perhaps the blandness of Hernandez's name is what lulled the Marlins' hitters to sleep in this game. In response, I've compiled a list of hypothetical, interesting-sounding names for pitchers whom the Marlins would be most likely to have success against:
Phoenix "Watermelons for Arms" Danglesmith, Jr.
Razor, High Prince of the Juggalos
The Artist Formerly Known as the Pitcher Known As Aaron Cook™
There's not a DJ in the world that could prepare Joe Maddon's boys for the apocalypse that the Marlins' bats would unleash on those pitchers. I'm sure of it.
Marcell Ozuna has been one of the few bright spots for the club since being recalled at the end of April. Ozuna singled in this game to extend his hitting streak to 14 games. Not bad for a guy who had seen all of zero at-bats above Double-A in his professional career. His slash line currently sits at .317/.361/.446. When Giancarlo Stanton and Logan Morrison make their return to the team, it'll be interesting to see how Ozuna adjusts. The kid has already had a lot thrown at him and at this point is the guy that's being counted on the most to provide offense and so far that's exactly what he's doing. What'll happen when the focus shifts away from him in the lineup? Will he be more dangerous? It'll certainly be an intriguing storyline to follow as the Fish continue through the rest of the season.
A Heartfelt Apology
If you've seen my Tweets on Wednesdays, they usually say something along the lines of "oh hey I'm doing the Fish Cap tonight and the Marlins didn't score any runs tonight." Now, ladies and gentlemen, I have data to further support my claims. Why am I making this about me? Because I'm self-absorbed.
The Marlins have played eight games on Wednesdays. They have scored a grand total of
LEGEN-wait for it.....DARY eight runs. This includes five shutouts. FIVE SHUTOUTS, PEOPLE.
I must apologize for the bad luck I have bequeathed (fun word) on the Fish during these Wednesday games. I will walk under as many ladders and cross the path of as many black cats as I possibly can in the meantime to try and reverse this curse.
The Marlins finish out "The Citrus Series" Thursday night against the Rays as they try to avoid the four-game sweep.
FUN FACT: It's called "The Citrus Series" because so far it has been as entertaining as eating a piece of fruit.