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Miami Marlins vs. Arizona Diamondbacks: Game 43 Thread and Ichthyomancy

The Miami Marlins send Kevin Slowey to the mound to open a three-game series against the Arizona Diamondbacks.



1. Juan Pierre, LF
2. Adeiny Hechavarria, SS
3. Derek Dietrich, 2B
4. Marcell Ozuna, RF
5. Justin Ruggiano, CF
6. Greg Dobbs, 1B
7. Placido Polanco, 3B
8. Rob Brantly, C
9. Kevin Slowey, P

SB Nation is still in the intensive care unit, recovering from a gunshot wound to the chest. Likely a drug bust gone bad. This means our precious widgets aren't functioning, leaving Fish Stripes in the hinterlands as far as charts and graphs go.

Yes, I had to manually type out the lineup. Sometimes I wonder if this blogging gig is worth all the effort.

Michael was last seen dressed in a Tom Glavine jersey, performing the "Tomahawk Chop." I don't know if he can be rehabilitated. Yet, we must solider on without him.

There is a baseball game tonight. The Marlins have their master of smoke and mirrors, Kevin Slowey, while the Diamondbacks have a pitcher, Trevor Cahill.

Cahill is just 25 years old, and has posted a 2.70 ERA in eight starts this year. If we convert that figure to Marlins-adjusted ERA, then it falls to 0.56. Half a run seems like a reasonable goal for the Marlins offense tonight.

To help cheer you all up, I wrote a haiku:

spring unicorn comes
please end my suffering
rattlesnake bites hurt

Bold Prediction: Diamondbacks def. Marlins 5-2