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Miami Marlins vs. Cincinnati Reds: Game 42 Thread and Ichthyomancy

A hip, young author takes up the Game Thread reigns, bringing forth a new era for Fish Stripes. Jose Fernandez may also be starting against the Cincinnati Reds tonight.

Harry How

Current Series

3 game series vs Reds @ Marlins Park

Cincinnati Reds
@ Miami Marlins

Tuesday, May 14, 2013, 7:10 PM EDT
Marlins Park

Complete Coverage >

Wed 05/15 7:10 PM EDT
Thu 05/16 7:10 PM EDT

Michael is moving to Atlanta, which means he could re-emerge as a Braves fan by this time tomorrow. In his absence, I am Supreme Chancellor of Fish Stripes.

I have formed a new policy agenda, which involves replacing Ichthyomancy with tributes to my greatness. These can be delivered in prose, or poetry, if you are feeling creative. I have prepared an example poem:

summer glory nears
new boss man write beautiful

marlins play baseball

I have also appropriated funds to fix SB Nation, which apparently went up in flames yesterday, and is still burning uncontrollably. Even the widgets are not working properly. This is a crisis, and I assure you that I have my best people working on it.

While maybe not as exciting as my rise to power, the Miami Marlins are playing a baseball game tonight. Jose Fernandez will take the mound against the Reds, coming off a so-so start against the Dodgers, in which he allowed three runs across six innings pitched.

The Marlins are tasked with overcoming the most horrifying man in baseball, Mat Latos. He is truly the stuff of nightmares. His heart pumps factory-refined liquid malice. I once saw Latos club a pygmy elephant at the San Diego Zoo.

Before you run scared, recall that Latos has a career 6.10 ERA versus Miami. And since the Marlins' lineup has not changed in the last three years, we can reasonably expect a blowout tonight.

Bold Prediction: Marlins def. Reds 6-1