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Current Series
3 game series vs Reds @ Marlins Park
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| Wed 05/15 | 7:10 PM EDT | |
| Thu 05/16 | 7:10 PM EDT | |
I have formed a new policy agenda, which involves replacing Ichthyomancy with tributes to my greatness. These can be delivered in prose, or poetry, if you are feeling creative. I have prepared an example poem:
summer glory nears
new boss man write beautiful
marlins play baseball
I have also appropriated funds to fix SB Nation, which apparently went up in flames yesterday, and is still burning uncontrollably. Even the widgets are not working properly. This is a crisis, and I assure you that I have my best people working on it.
The Marlins are tasked with overcoming the most horrifying man in baseball, Mat Latos. He is truly the stuff of nightmares. His heart pumps factory-refined liquid malice. I once saw Latos club a pygmy elephant at the San Diego Zoo.
Before you run scared, recall that Latos has a career 6.10 ERA versus Miami. And since the Marlins' lineup has not changed in the last three years, we can reasonably expect a blowout tonight.
Bold Prediction: Marlins def. Reds 6-1