FishStripes can confirm, from sources much more reliable than any team official or beat writer (Twitter), that every Fish fans' favorite middle reliever, Burke Badenhop, is headed back to Miami.
Who knew that pushing a reliever down the stairs was all that was necessary to ensure a successful #FreeTheHopper campaign? We could've taken care of this on the Marlins' first road trip.*
*Despite repeated questioning from the Cincinnati PD, I have a semi-solid alibi for the night of the alleged accident in the stairwell. I maintain my innocence. (And I totally would've pushed Javy.)