Jeff Pearlman of SI writes the following:
You are the Florida Marlins. No one comes to see you play. Your young pitchers could use some guidance. So ... why not?
Not certain about this but I think the Marlins pitchers already know how to drink beer and cuss. However, I could be wrong.
Mr. Pearlman goes on:
Somebody who makes personnel decisions for a Major League Baseball team, please -- pretty please -- hear me out on this one. Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd is waiting for you to call. He keeps his cell phone in his hand, hoping that, within a week or so, someone will think to himself, "You know what our ballclub really needs? A 49-year-old righty who last played in the majors during Color Me Badd's heyday."
He is dead serious.
This is more than a mere stunt. Ever since his boyhood, Boyd has considered himself something of a modern day Satchel Paige, the legendary Negro Leaguer who pitched for the Kansas City Athletics at age 58 in 1965. Like Page, Boyd is long and thin and charismatic and seemingly unable to age. Like Page, Boyd cherishes the game of baseball.
"To be honest, I hate where Major League Baseball has gone," he says. "It's so straight-laced and business-oriented. There's no interaction with the fans; no joy and passion and excitement. I might be old, I might be odd, I might be a strange story at first glance.
"But," he says, "any team that takes a shot on me will find someone who's doing it for the right reasons. For the love of the game."
Back during his heyday he was good and if the Marlins want to invite him to camp, and there is no indication they do, it would definitely make the spring more colorful. And maybe it would give him enough exposure that it might help him fulfill his dream of catching on with some other major league team. But for the life of me, I can't even in my wildest dreams think of a scenario where Oil Can could possibly fit into the Marlins pitching staff.
If he wants to go to New Orleans, that might be fun to follow. But Jeffery Loria doesn't strike me as a modern day Bill Veeck, so this probably isn't even a remote possibility.
Mr. Boyd should probably look elsewhere, but I do wish him the best.