Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to introduce tonight's starting lineup for your 2005 Florida Marlins non-Florida Marlins...
Batting first and playing centerfield, Juan Pierre...
Batting second and playing second base, Luis Castillo...
Batting third and playing first base, Carlos Delgado...
Batting fourth and playing third base, Mike Lowell...
Batting fifth and playing right field, Juan Encarnacion...
Batting sixth and playing left field, Jeff Conine...
Batting seventh and catching, Paul LoDuca...
Batting eighth and playing shortstop, Alex Gonzalez...
Batting ninth and making his final warmup up tosses in the bullpen, tonight's starting pitcher, Josh Beckett...
If you got all the way to the end without being sick, you are a better fan than me.