clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Top Ten Reasons that Beergod Will Regret Bailing

New, 14 comments

As you probably know by now, Fish Stripes will hit the road this weekend to watch the Marlins play the Mets at Shea Stadium. Some of you also know that my good friend Beergod (Beergod is on the right, I'm on the left - I'd explain the picture further, but I don't remember anything about this picture; and if you wonder why he's called Beergod, it's not just because he has the t-shirt - I've heard strangers call him by that name) bailed on us and will not be making the trip. I am sure that he will live to regret this decision, and here are some of the potential reasons why:

  1. By missing the trip, he'll never quite get the stories if we have an experience like in Tallahassee two years ago.
  2. He may be replaced permanently by a Homer Simpson cut out, as was the case (at least temporarily) at the January 2004 Miami - FSU Orange Bowl (pictures coming).
  3. He's likely to find out that being on the receiving end of a "SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY" call at 2 am isn't anywhere near as fun as being the person to deliver it. And there are a lot of people who owe him such a call. A lot.
  4. If we break the stadium record for $9 beers in holographic cups consumed at one game (a record that I believe he and I currently hold), he'll just feel bad.
  5. We might accidentially sneak into the stadium with cargo pockets filled with beer, again. And that's as fun as it is economical.
  6. Because he just won't believe it if I tell him that someone else had to be dragged out of a parking lot at three in the morning after talking to some random girls and helping their random boyfriends fix a flat tire in a parking lot.
  7. That numbers 3, 4, 5, and 6 might all happen at the same event.
  8. Stories about rain just aren't as entertaining if you weren't there (World Series, Tallahassee).
  9. Drinking beer on the street because you can't get into your desired parking lot just isn't the same if the whole group isn't there.
  10. Everyone will complain that there was no one to make beer-batter pancakes with chocolate chips and 'Bama bombs.
  11. If someone ends up in the pool late at night, drinking melon flavored wine and vodka (separately) straight out of the bottle, you can't give them as hard of a time about it if you weren't there. Sorry, Dave - I had to go there.
  12. If I set my grill on fire (or do something equally stupid), you won't be there to a) laugh at me and b) make me laugh with you when we tell Sean Burroughs interview stories.
  13. Getting called out on the Shea Stadium scoreboard? Ouch.
Yes, that's more than ten reasons, but everyone knows that a good top ten list has more than 10 reasons.