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Marlins are "An Affront to Everything this Nation Stands For"

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Fishchunks has found some really good stories lately.  This one in particular cracked me up:

The mere fact that the Florida Marlins have won two championships in 12 seasons is an affront to everything this nation stands for, to put it mildly. I believe that when the Marlins won for a second time, the Founding Fathers spun in their graves, possibly because they were unaware baseball had been invented and that Florida was a state. News travels slow when, you know, you're dead.

The Marlins also violated my stringent No-Teal rule, which holds that nobody should accomplish anything important while wearing teal. It's incongruous. Does the President wear teal suits? Is your bible printed in teal? When you eat a burger, do you ever add any teal condiments? No, right? This is what I'm saying.

While pontificating on the greatness of what the Red Sox accomplished last October (winning their first World Series in more than three generations, in case you somehow missed it), the author of this story took the opportunity to rip the Marlins.  Quite honestly, I skimmed most of what the author wrote about the Red Sox, because I'm sick of reading about how great the "Idiots" were/are.

For some reason though - I guess since they've only won one title - the purple-clad Diamondbacks were spared such cheap shots, even though they're from a state (Arizona) that wasn't around when the founding fathers were.

The author also apparently didn't watch much of the 2003 World Series.  If he had, he would have learned that the Marlins don't wear much teal anymore.  Teal has been replaced with black.  

Arguing the point with this sort of Bo-sox-centric fellow would be pointless though.  As my friend Yoda would say, "I sense much anger in this one."  

Instead of focusing on the color the two-time World Champion Florida Marlins wear, maybe this guy could just enjoy his Red Sox championship and his buddy's book.