Is this season five? I can't remember.

Anyway, tonight's episode:

A mysterious person in the Office has made a huge mess in the microwave and will not clean it up.

Does Pam return? Does Toby? Does Michael begin his path towards being fired?

To our surprise, Dayton Moore has had an active autumn, making two out of the blue trades that have exclusively involved Major League players. Moreover, Dayton's immortal "pitching is the currency of baseball" line has rung true, with both Mike Jacobs and now Coco Crisp paid for with bullpen arms. There's even a similar element regarding taking on salary. While the Jacobs trade was a non-solution to a non-problem, on balance the Crisp pickup looks more like a half-solution to, perhaps, a half problem. The currency paid for these two players was not high, but it wasn't insignificant either, and when its mid-June and the Royals send, say, Jeff Fulchino out to keep a 4-2 game close, we should remember these trades.

Reading the hundreds of comments yesterday, like many of you, my initial reaction was a painful realization of the loss of Ramon Ramirez: probably the best relief pitcher the Royals have had this decade, in the non-Soria division. As the hours passed, and completely rational arguments about the fungibility of relievers poured in, as well as some less than super-optimistic projections for Ram-Ram we're thrown around however, it didn't look so bad. For the past year I've argued that if Dayton truly has an ability to find arms anywhere, then he needs to leverage that talent. With the Nunez and Ramirez swaps, he looks like he's trying to do just that. Ramirez wasn't likely an easy player for Moore to let go of either, and I applaud his willingness to move one of his shinest acquisitions. I'll miss Ramirez -- who always reminded me of the Wallace Stevens poem "The Idea of Order at Key West" -- but hopefully, there will always be more Ramirezes to fall for.

So, with this trade in mind, we can really see a clear modus operandi developing from the Moore camp. And as Kahrl pointed out on BP yesterday, Ramon Ramirez was, essentially, originally Tony Graffanino, so in effect, the Royals acquired a starting centerfielder for a utility player, which is certainly yummy. Its trades like this that have got the Royals to where they are and give us hope for the future. While the method was strong, however, I can't help but think that the motivation, nevertheless, remains questionable. As with the Jacobs trade, I don't think that you can view this trade in a wholly positive light, given Dayton's idiosyncratic approach to team-building.

One of the biggest takeaways of this trade is that Dayton Moore does not view David DeJesus as the team's proper centerfielder, a direction the team has been moving in since the earliest days of the Moore regime. As you will recall, Moore's first trade was the Gathright-Howell exchange. This is a half-problem, at worst. Although DeJesus's glove might be slightly below average, there's no evidence that it's really a major problem. Instead, DeJesus just doesn't fit Moore's retrograde template: he wants a true speed-demon with a sterling reputation in center. Defense matters to Moore, at three or four positions, just like OBP matters to him at three or four lineup spots. Nevermind that DDJ's offense goes from asset to problematic by shifting him to a corner. The Royals have now made two major trades (Howell and Ramirez are legitimate big league arms with talent) to address a fairly cosmetic issue.

Where are we going to have that parade again, Dayton?

As for Crisp, it must be said that he's a nice player and probably the third or fourth best position player on the Royals now. He's an upgrade over DeJesus in center and a better player than Gathright or Maier. As a group, Royal CFs hit unbelievably horrible last season. Like, TPJ (well, good TPJ) bad: .268/.316/.322. We'll have to wait and see, but there might even be something to be gained by letting DDJ bat at a lower-pressure defensive spot as well, as he hit terribly as a CF last season, posting a .279/.326/.386 line. And that kind of performance just isn't acceptable, even in center-field...

Only, .279/.326/.386 isn't far removed from what Coco Crisp has managed the last three seasons. At the end of the 2005 season, his last in Cleveland, Coco was a career .287/.329/.424 hitter. Maybe it was injuries, maybe it was a loss of playing time, maybe it was the Boston cold, but he has preceded to spend his peak-age seasons failing to match that production. For all the emotional ups and downs, he was a remarkably consistent carmine (to use a Hawkism for the Red Sox):

Clearly, David DeJesus and his career .287/.360/.422 line wasn't good enough.

You can see a very gradual comeback, but the heights of his Cleveland days are gone forever. The power, especially against right-handed pitchers (unfortunately the majority these days) is gone. To be fair, Crisp hit well against lefties last season, even slugging .474. The Hillman regime however, has a pretty weak record regarding platoon splits however, so its doubtful this edge will be maximized, and I suspect in full-time duty, his numbers will drop from 2008.

So absent other trades, it looks like the Royals are planning on a DeJesus-Crisp-Guillen outfield. Ah, Jose Guillen, the gift that keeps on giving. The outfield defense should be slightly above average, but only just so with perhaps the worst regular in the game patrolling the Guillen-Zone. Then there's the offense, which will need a) another mini-peak season from DDJ b) a bounceback from Crisp and c) a bounceback from Josey to be a positive factor for the Royals.

That seems like a lot to ask for simply because David DeJesus doesn't look like Dayton's idea of a centerfielder.

OK, the initial fanshot on the trade is getting massive, which is awesome, but also a bit bulky.

Do you hate the Crisp-Ramirez trade? Or are you mixed but still see negative signs? Will you continue to yearn for Ramon Ramirez throughout the winter?

Let's use this space to collect our negative thoughts on Crisp/Ramirez.

OK, the initial fanshot on the trade is getting massive, which is awesome, but also a bit bulky.

Do you like the Crisp-Ramirez trade? Or are you mixed but still see positive signs?

via yorkroberts.files.wordpress.com

Hit me with your positive thoughts here. I'd like to see what people think and sorta get things organized.

Negatives will go in a different fanpost.

I saw this link on the old Royals yahoogroup today....

So lets pull some quotes:

On the criticism of Jacobs that he doesn't address the Royals' need to upgrade their on-base capability after finishing 12th in the league with a team OBP of .320
I think great on-base guys are kind of like acquiring great pitchers -- there's just a few out there, and everyone can recognize guys that get on base, and certainly you want to have them at the top of your lineup and the bottom of your lineup. In the middle of your lineup, you've got to have guys that are going to produce runs. That's the philosophy that I have and Mike Jacobs fits that bill. Our on-base issues are more with the current players we have and the roles that they are in. Alex Gordon made great strides last year (.314 in 2007, .351 in 2008). Mark Teahen took a step back (.353 in 2007, .313 in 2008), but in the past he's been very good (.332 career). David DeJesus has always been a very good on-base guy (.366 in 2008, .360 career). Alberto Callaspo, potentially, is a high on-base guy (.361 in 74 games in 2008). So we've got to keep stressing that depending on where we're at in the lineup. In the middle of the lineup, we've got to have guys who can produce runs. The other aspect of this is that when Gil Meche and Zack Greinke matched up against fourth and fifth starters, we've lost those games 3-2 and 4-3 and 2-1. By having guys like Jacobs in (Jose) Guillen in the middle of our order, and the continued improvement of Gordon and guys like that, we've got a chance to win those games 7-3 and 4-1 and so forth. That's kind of the way we look at it.

In a way, he does have a point. However, there's a difference between not being able to afford the top OBP machines, or being able to find them, and actively bringing in the absolute lowest OBP guys in the game with regularity. And what Gordon and Teahen have to do with Jacobs being hacktastic I don't know. Oh, and nice whistling past the graveyard of the Guillen Out Machine as well.

Another:

On reports about the Royals being down on Billy Butler
Anything you've read about Billy Butler that is negative, is a lie. We've never said anything, and we're very pleased with Billy. He doesn't even have two full years in the major leagues, he's 22 years old. He's been very, very successful against lefthanded pitching (.340, 12 HR in 241 AB). With righthanded pitching, he's struggled a bit from time to time (.256, 7 HR in 531 AB), but he's going to begin the season at 22 years old next year. We're very pleased at what Billy's doing, and is going to continue to do. To speculate on things, we've never had any internal conversations focusing on our displeasure or lack of satisfaction with Billy Butler.

I'm slightly afraid of Dayton Moore's moral universe. This is at least the second time I can recall that he's referred to just a standard, run-of-the-mill baseball rumor as a "lie", which seems too strong a word and even a touch paranoid. The internets is spreading lies! Lies! Lies! Absolute lies!

One more:

On the starting rotation
If you go back to '06, the Royals were coming off the worst pitching staff in the history of the organization... We still don't have the depth of starting pitching that we need. We still lack that, we're still looking to add to the current group that we have, but we do like the youth that we have with Gil Meche and Greinke, (Luke) Hochevar, (Kyle) Davies and Banny. Gil just turned 30 in September, and he's improved each year, continues to get a little bit better, and I think he really took a step forward to be able to keep us in games and win games when he didn't have his best stuff. In the past, when he didn't have his best stuff, he had a little trouble getting through.

Its a good, interesting read... there's also some positive thoughts on Olivo & Banny.

The Royals Radio Network is comprised of over eighty affiliates and stretches across seven states. In this recurring series (previous features listed below at the bottom of the page) Royals Review attempts to give each affiliate its proper airing, celebrating the regional reach and heritage of Royals baseball. In an era defined by the endless quest for the big money, baseball on the radio is a decidedly low-stakes, low-tech venture. Let it always lay hidden like a strength in the backyards of the mind.

Holdrege, Nebraska- KMTY-FM 97.7

Population: 5,636
Miles from Kansas City: 330

Four hours west/northwest of Kansas City, Holdrege is the Seat of Phelps County and a key affiliate in southwestern Nebraska. Despite being mostly unchallenged in rural Nebraska, the Royals have only seven radio affiliates in the Cornhusker State with the smallish Holdrege left to carry a flag that’s been dropped by Grand Island. Then again, as we know from BHWick’s look into the history of the network the Royals have always been weirdly weak in Nebraska: even in the heady days of 1980, Kansas City had only nine affiliates there, although two where in the aforementioned Grand Island. Holdrege remains the firewall against apathy in its corner of the state.

Founded in the 1880s, Holdrege is named for George W. Holdrege, a railroad executive who played a key role in developing the area around Phelps County, including encouraging immigration. In 1928 a monument to Holdrege was unveiled in town. According to the Chamber of Commerce, Holdrege is a great place to live because "Holdrege Focuses on ‘Family’", and I can only assume those quotation marks around "family" mean that they’ve come to define it in a different way in Holdrege. Makes sense too, considering that 23% of Phelps County voted for Barack HUSSEIN Obama this November.

Have you noticed that there’s like no celebration of Christmas anymore? Not in Holdrege, which is already offering Christmas Horse & Buggy rides and on November 13, had Christmas Carolers singing downtown. The fun will run through December, with Santa’s House located on East Avenue, across from the bank. Aside from Christmas, the big event in Holdrege is Swedish Days, held annually at midsummer. I’m sorry, midsommar. This last year, the Fest featured book talks, a Christian music concert, a fishing contest, an air show, and of course, the tassel-dances. (Video highlights here.) However, the most unique event, may be the annual bed races. (Again, its all about "family" in Holdrege.) Apparently, bed racing is a big folky Swedish thing, and a hallmark of many similar festivals. This year’s celebration also marked Holdrege’s 125th anniversary. Your humble blogger attempted to find more information on the Days, especially the winner of Swedish Days King & Queen. However, Holdrege does not appear to have a local newspaper, making it especially difficult. If you know who won, please let us know… Similarly, I really wanted to add a nice picture of a Swedish-looking woman to help illustrate this post, but could find nothing online in that direction. I guess there aren’t any. All I can offer is this late-90's style web graphic.

A variant of the Cross of Scania, every Scandinavian country has a flag with this design. Which is your favorite?

Seven miles from Holdrege lies the town of Atlanta, which is both Dayton Moore’s favorite place to scout and perhaps the most interesting historical site in Phelps County. Now essentially a ghost town, during World War II Atlanta was the home of a prison camp called Camp Atlanta. Originally built to hold conscientious objectors, Camp Atlantaa (this is a great link, btw) eventually held over 3,000 German POWs. The labor provided by these prisoners was a major boon to local agriculture. As to how much better the Nazis were at husking corn were than the COs, it is not known. Glenn Thompson, a Holdrege resident, is the author of Prisoners on the Plains (link) which is an account of the Camp.

via www.nebraskaprairie.org

On the south edge of town lies Lake Seldom, which is a restored wetland designed to serve as a habitat for birds. Although an outsider might not realize it, this region of Nebraska is one of the most unique birdwatching regions of the country. (Ideally, the Royals would find a way to capitzlie on this regional strength. Sandhill Crane Day at the K NOW!) If birding isn’t your thing, you can roll a few frames at the Hasty Lanes Bowling Alley.

No Major League player has ever been born in Holdrege, and as far as I can tell, anywhere else in Phelps County. Considering only 105 native-born Nebraskans have ever made the Major Leagues, this is not that surprising. (Seriously, how shockingly low is that number? Then again, as I said last week, no one lives in Nebraska.) Otto Miller, however, was born in Minden, and may be the closest thing to a local player ever. Born in 1889, Lowell Otto Miller, nicknamed "Moonie", was a catcher/1B for the Brooklyn Robins (nee Superbas) for thirteen years (1910-1922). In 927 career games, Moonie hit .245/.275/.308, which wasn’t terribly good, even in the 1910s, and comes out to an OPS+ of 67. The Robins made the World Series in both 1916 & 1920, losing both times (Red Sox & Indians). Moonie went 3-22 with a walk in post-season play. Miller seems to have stayed in Brooklyn after his career ended, dying there in 1962. Miller’s death was a strange and possibly tragic one, as he fell/jumped from a fourth story window.

On a happier note, some dude who walked across America, or is, or was trying, went through Holdrege this April. It is uncertain as to if he listened to the Royals while doing something.

Finally, a poem from Bill Holm, a Minnesotan of Icelandic heritage who looks disturbingly like Ron Gardenhire.

Under Holdrege, Nebraska

I skip stones into billowing Nebraska wheat
as if it were a rolling golden ocean.
One nips the beard in seven arcs until
it cuts into a breaker and sinks.
No telling how far that stone will drop.

-Bill Holm

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Previous Affiliate Profiles:

York, Nebraska
Conway, Arkansas
Waynesville, Missouri
Topeka, Kansas
Storm Lake, Iowa
Vinita, Oklahoma
California, Missouri
Garden City, Kansas
Belle Fourche, South Dakota
Ulysses, Kansas
Trenton, Missouri
Fairbury, Nebraska
Nebraska City, Nebraska
Winfield, Kansas
Mount Pleasant, Iowa
Butler, Missouri
Enid, Oklahoma
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Bolivar, Missouri

Do any of y'all like Zero bars? I bought one this weekend and was reminded how strange they are. There aren't really other bars like it. Zeroes are made by Hershey, but aren't always in stores and sorta seem more like what you might expect from a local/regional brand.

Since 1931 the ZERO candy bar has developed a very loyal consumer base. The unique combination of ingredients makes this bar a one of a kind. The name ZERO is believed to come from the bar being originally marketed as a cool, tasty treat; or as cool as Zero degrees. Some consumers still today enjoy ZERO candy bars frozen.

Anyway, is anybody here a Zero fan? Sometimes people are really loyal to specific candy bars. When I was a kid I was briefly a Mr. Goodbar man, in that strange scary way kids seem to instinctively equate brands as part of their identity. Mr. Goodbar and Sprite for some unknown reason, despite the fact that Sprite is too boring to drink. Well, compared to 90% of drinks. Compared to 7-Up its like a thirty year burgundy.

I bet Shane Costa is a Zero Man.

I can see people sticking with these loyalties, i.e. always sticking with Twix or whatever somewhat illogically.

Unless you claim your favorite is Reese Cups or Snickers, which only signals that you are a personality-less drone.

Are those numbers right? I've lost all count.

Business Trip. Michael brings Andy and Oscar on a business trip to Canada, while Jim counts down the days until Pam gets back from art school.

Hey, remember when Pam's art school was a non-sensical three months and exclusively over the summer? So do I. Now were on what, the fourth episode of having to feel sorry for Mr. Perfect about it.

It must be tough for Jim those months when he's not promoted or offered a job at corporate or able to wrap with the CEO about how awesome he is. And look, after joylessly running through purse girl and Karen, he's been seperated from Pammie.

It is so easy to identify with this everyman.